25/06/2010

The Cinematic Event We've* All Been Waiting For

*Replace 'we've' with 'I've'

Let's face it, 2010 has been weak for blockbusters. Iron Man 2? Eh. Prince of Persia? Meh. SATC2? Bleurgh. Sure, we've still got Inception, Toy Story 3, The A-Team and SCOTT PILGRIM to come but as far as I'm concerned, the best possible news since the Topshop sale has just been announced.

80s pop stars Deborah (don't call her Debbie) Gibson and Tiffany are going to star in a Syfy original Saturday night movie entitled "Mega Python vs. Gatoroid". Give me a minute whilst I contain myself...

In case you don't know, Debbie starred in last year's epic "Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus" so it's only right that she comes back for another 'mega' encounter with some animal that has gone toe to toe with the cheapest CGI imaginable and lost. While we're on the subject, what the fuck is a Gatoroid? It sounds like a cross between Gatorade - a mix of Lucozade, piss and Dib Dab sherbert, NOT as nice as it sounds - and hemorrhoids. I don't know what is going on there but at least it sounds like something I want to see fight a giant python. All we need now is the added casting of Jon Voight, Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez to get pure box office gold!