Last night I was one of the cool, beautiful people who attended Ultra Culture Cinema #2 at the fabulous ICA London. Being screened was Harmony Korine's Trash Humpers, a film that I missed not once, not twice, but three fucking times at various festivals I've attended over the past year, so I was extra amped to attend.
For those who don't know, Ultra Culture is officially the UK's Greatest Movie Blog (sit down HeyUGuys) that's been going for...actually I don't know how long it's been going but the point is, it's awesome. And if you read this blog and have no idea what Ultra Culture is, then what the fuck is wrong with you?
Moving on. Despite missing Trash Humpers several times, I wasn't actually that bothered about seeing it, I was more interested in the actual night and what Mr Lyne came up with. I arrived at the ICA at around 7 and was actually one of the first people there which gave me ample time to wander around and have a gander at the multiple signs around the place. All relevant to the film and very funny, my personal favourite were the house rules which were so on point I think they should be handed out at press screenings. I wanted to steal a few and take snapshots but I forgot my camera and forgot to steal the signs when I left. I'm rubbish.
After a few quick chats with people including the man himself and Catherine from Film4 (even though at the time I didn't even know it was her), we started making our way in. The corridor leading to the screen had print outs of one of the old humpers and pens for us to draw with. For a split second I thought I was at Secret Cinema...
Then we were handed a piece of rubbish (see above) that turned out to be some production notes so incredibly well written that it put a large portion of my copy to shame. Soon after I quickly spotted some bin bags full of swag and my immediate thought was "I gotta get me some of that".
Charlie then took the mic and proceeded to do all the cool stuff I was interested in. A man was asked to pick the most attractive person in a row and that led to people winnning a can of coke and some sweets. Then a woman whose birthday is coming up got a chocolate cake that she wasn't allowed to eat. I'm extremely pedantic when it comes to getting an aisle seat and for the first time it paid off because I won some free shit. Huzzah.
It soon got better because a live link to the director himself popped up on screen. Great stuff. He judged an admittedly crap contest, showed us all a doll "his wife just popped out" and introduced the film. "How are you going to spend the rest of your evening?" asked Charlie, "I'm just gonna jerk it." Outstanding. But wait, there's more. We were treated to a 5 minute video of Charlie Lyons showing people outside the ICA segments of the film and getting their reactions. It was hilarious and I would happily sit through it a million times if it were on YouTube.
If it sounds like I'm rattling through this it's because I am. Looking back on the night, a lot of stuff went on which made the £8 price tag seem like pennies but how would I know, I didn't pay. The point is, it was awesome and you should've been there but as I get the feeling each night will be better than the last (UCC #1 was Bad Lieutenant), there's still time for you to attend and brag that you knew about Ultra Culture before anyone else. You know it makes sense.
P.S. Although The Incredible Suit bought me a drink, my highlight of the night was when I popped to the loo (I was in an aisle seat so I didn't break no rules) and three women walked out. One complained that it was shit, the other said she couldn't take the freaky laughs anymore and another complained that the old people weren't actual old people but Korine, his wife and who I'm guessing are mates in masks. That struck me as odd. And hilarious.
EDIT: It has just been put on YouTube so watch it and enjoy the "deliciously posh" Mr Lyons talk to people on da streets.