Knight & Day

Before you ask, the title of this film has nothing to do with anything and is just a lazy excuse for a memorable pun. What it's punning on is anyone's guess, one hasn't got a clue. I've already professed my love for Tom before but happily, he isn't the major problem with this film...

1) Cameron Diaz reminds me of the screaming, shrieking buffoon known as Kate Capshaw from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Not good.

2) What the fuck is Paul Dano, Peter Sarsgaard and Viola Davis doing in this?

3) As much as I love James Mangold's previous films, he hasn't got the foggiest idea how to construct an action sequence.

4) The blackouts. Why bother writing a script when you can just have people getting knocked out all the time?

5) Gratuitous topless/bikini sequences.

6) No chemistry between the two leads. NONE.

7) The bull sequence.

8) The terrible CGI.

9) The fact that everyone is fighting over a battery.

10) At one point Tom Cruise lands a plane in a corn field. It looks as rubbish as it sounds.

As I said, this and the upcoming Les Grossman spin off is not the way to return to Hollywood royalty Tom. But I still love you.