30/09/2010

10 Films I Couldn't Give A Fuck About


As we're getting to the later stages of the year, the summer blockbuster season has been replaced with the Christmas/Oscar baiting season. And since I don't have anything else to talk about today, I thought I'd give you a run through of 10 films I couldn't care less about because I know that you're all so interested in my opinion. I know you are, stop shaking your head.

1) The Death and Life of Charlie St. Cloud

What is it? Another vehicle for Zac Efron to try and make the world forget that he looks about 12.
When is it? October 8th
Why no care? I'm not 14, I don't do films that try and make you cry and I can't condone someone called Charlie St. Cloud.

2) Life As We Know It

What is it? Katherine Heigl and Josh Duhamel play godparents who hate each other but have to get along when their goddaughter's parents die.
When is it? October 8th
Why no care? It stars Katherine Heigl.

3) Legends of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole

What is it? I dunno, something about owls.
When is it? October 22nd
Why no care? I dunno, it's about owls.

4) Paranormal Activity 2

What is it? Something goes 'boo' in the night and people get scared. Or something.
When it is? October 22nd
Why no care? I haven't seen the first one but if I catch it I may give it a whirl. Also, not a horror fan.

5) Saw VII 3D

What is it? A franchise that has outstayed it's welcome because there are so many idiots in the world who keep paying to see it.
When is it? October 29th. Just in time for Halloween. Oh you marketing people.
Why no care? There are actually too many reasons. I do love the Saw Thorpe Park ride though, that's awesome.

6) Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

What is it? The first instalment in the finale of those books that everyone has read but me.
When is it? November 19th. Expect the crazies to start buying tickets in a few weeks.
Why no care? Just don't. The books never interested me and the films aren't strong enough for me to get excited about. Sorry. And what's with this 'HP' bollocks? Stop it Warner.

7) Megamind

What is it? Something that sounds a bit like Despicable Me.
When is it? December 3rd
Why no care? Because the entire marketing behind this film is based solely on the fact that it stars Will Ferrell and Brad Pitt, two people I have no interest in. Also, Dreamworks have let me down so much in the past.

8) The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. In 3D. Ergh.

What is it? Another book adaptation. I really don't care.
When is it? December 10th
Why no care? Big fan of the books but the other films have been a let down. I learn my lessons.

9) Ch@troom

What is it? 5 people meet on a chatroom and something starts going wrong.
When is it? December 26th
Why no care? Sounded interesting but the reviews from Cannes were terrible. Even HeyUGuys hated it. Moving on.


10) Love & Other Drugs

What is it? Comedy drama about a Viagra salesman.
When is it? December 29th
Why no care? This one actually hurts because I love Anne Hathaway and adore Jake Gyllenhaal. The premise seemed so interesting but after watching the trailer it looks like another rom-com with a twist. I hope there is some edge. Please.

I should point out that these views are based on my own opinion and the stuff I've seen so far so you PRs reading this (I know you do) are more than welcome to ply me with exclusive screenings and free shit. I love being proved wrong so I hope that all the films mentioned are all very good  They won't be though.