06/10/2010

Who Released Your Sexual Kraken?

Right people, this is going to be one of those no doubt disastrous attempts to involve you in this silly little blog. A few weeks ago my friend Simon Thompson coined the term 'sexual kraken' when referring to the effect that Lynda Carter had on him as a lad. Basically, it's the moment you realised that you were able to get delightful feelings below the waist ifyouknowwhatImean...

It then occurred to me that there are plenty of movie moments that made me want to watch certain films for more than just the 'entertainment' and if I'm sick enough to have them, then I assume that you do too. So, before I ask you to send me your suggestions that will no doubt have me curled up in the corner of my bedroom weeping about the fact that all my readers are such sick fucks, here are my best sexual kraken movie moments.


Kelly LeBrock in Weird Science

There comes a point in every woman's life when she spots an unnaturally gorgeous creature of the same sex, throws in the towel, raises the white flag and says "I'll never be as hot as that". Unfortunately that moment came along for me when I was still shaped like a ruler and boys looked me in the eye but even as a pre-pubescent nitwit, my 20/20 vision gazed upon this beauty in awe. In case you haven't got the picture, if an 80s era Kelly LeBrock propositioned me I'd strap on my favourite Doctor Martin boots, pick out a crisp flannel shirt, run to the nearest tube station and head straight to Gay Town. She's hot.

Will Smith in Bad Boys

I grew up with Will Smith. I remember listening to my brother's vinyl copy of 'Parents Just Don't Understand' and running home from from my dance lessons because I didn't want to miss the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air opening credits. So being that I was quite used to seeing him dance like a lunatic you can imagine my surprise when I watched Bad Boys and found out that he was a bit fit. I think this was my reaction. The chase scene that features Will running around town with his shirt open is a sight to behold and although I don't like agreeing with the devil, Michael Bay has a point when he said that was the moment that Will became a movie star.


Christian Bale in American Psycho

I don't what it says about me that I'm highly attracted to a character that has sex to Phil Collins and a man who may have punched his Mum in the face. God I need help.

Colin Farrell in EVERYTHING


Hmm, let's ignore Alexander shall we?

George Clooney in Out of Sight


Talking of movie star making moments, this scene in Out of Sight is the exact moment that people stopped thinking of George as merely an actor in ER. Smooth, suave, effortlessly cool. I don't care if you own a penis and are straight as an arrow, you would not say no to George.

Alright people, you've heard my suggestions and now I want yours. Tweet me, DM, stop me in the street and punch me in the face, just send on your sexual kraken moments and I'll feature all the best ones in a future post and those who send some worrying suggestions will be laughed at. You can email me (heathersblogldn@yahoo.co.uk) too if you want but try not to send anything too pornographic, my eyes have been through enough.