15 Things I Hope Happen At The Oscars

  1. 127 Hours wins nothing.
  2. The Academy realise they've made a horrible mistake by nominating Jeremy Renner for The Town and give the best supporting actor nod to Andrew Garfield, with their sincerest apologies.
  3. Christian Bale goes full cockney and starts a fight with Tom Hooper.
  4. Jacki Weaver wins.
  5. Everyone finally admits that Toy Story 3 wasn't as good as most made it out to be.
  6. Josh Fox and Trish Adlesic win for Inside Job and go off on a Michael Moore like rant naming and shaming the bastard bankers in the world who've fucked us all sideways.
  7. How To Train Your Dragon wins best score.
  8. The Social Network wins everything it was nommed for and Justin Timberlake belts out an impromptu song to end the show.
  9. James Franco and Anne Hathaway are hurt in a mysterious accident and have to be replaced by Steve Martin or Billy Crystal or Jon Stewart or David Mitchell.
  10. Helena Bonham Carter gives Joan Rivers a heart attack with her choice of dress. Hopefully it's Vivienne Westwood.
  11. Winter's Bone wins at least one award.
  12. Michelle Williams wins best actress.
  13. Claudia Winkleman is not on hosting duties in the Sky Movies studio. I'm not sitting through that again.
  14. The ceremony lasts 90 minutes instead of the usual 12 hours.
  15. Jack Nicholson and Woody Harrelson get high. On stage.
See you on February 27th folks!

P.S. There's a slight chance I may be watching/tweeting/blogging the ceremony with hosts James Franco and Anne Hathaway! Here's a preview:

Picturehouse Podcast Oscar Preview from Sam Clements on Vimeo.

Don't worry if you threw up in your mouth. That's the normal reaction.