12/01/2011

Crap Poster Alert: The Dilemma

 

Allow me to set the scene; I'm happily on my way home from a particularly boring meeting and looking forward to a calorific lunch, listening to Kanye at a volume so high I'll probably be deaf by the time I'm 30 and it's not raining. All good things. While the bus driver decides to sit at the stop and do fuck all for a few minutes (regulating the service my backside), I turn to my right and see this, THIS monstrosity (in English, obvs) staring back at me from the bus stop opposite.

Sorry for ranting about posters again but some are so earth-shatteringly shit I can't let them pass without comment. The Dilemma is (probably) devoid of robots, monsters, explosions and all things fun so it's understandable that the work experience boy who created this mess was running low on ideas, but I ask you:
  1. Why does it look like a cartoon?
  2. What's with VV's hands on head dealie? It clearly alludes to the dilemma in the title but he just looks confused, constipated and possibly on the receiving end of a particularly rough handjob courtesy of Kevin James.
  3. Why does Kevin James keep getting work?
  4. Why does Kevin James exist?
  5. Do these two men possess the biggest slapheads known to man?
  6. Why is Jennifer Connelly suddenly deciding to waste her talent and gorgeous face on rubbish rom-coms?
Answers on a postcard please.