I Am Number 4

The number of minutes it took before I fell asleep: 14

The number of facial expressions Alex Pettyfer is capable of: 2.5

The number of actors who come out of this looking good: 1, Timothy Olyphant

The number of minutes it took before the action started to get vaguely interesting: About 100

The number of actresses who should stick to singing on Glee: 1

The number of arty female characters who are arty because they take photographs and wear a beret: 1

The number of female characters who exist purely to wear leather, say 'pussy' and ride a motorbike: 1

The number of people I'd tell to watch I Am Number 4: 0