Longer Review: Dr Martin Harris (Liam Neeson) gets in a car crash, has his life saved by a cab driver (Diane Kruger) only to find that his wife (January Jones, doing NOTHING) has apparently gone mental and someone else (Aidan Quinn from Desperately Seeking Susan!!!!) is claiming to be him. According to the trailer and the poster, you would expect this to lead to some awesome scenes involving The Neeson kicking ass and taking names but alas no, what you get is bloated, boring and deeply silly. And not Nic Cage silly, the rubbish silly. It does get kinda fun when The Neeson goes all Jack Bauer on our asses ("You have to detonate that bomb or people will die!"*) and spouts the kind of line you expect to hear in The Expendables ("I remember how to kill you!"*) but personally, it was all too little too late. Still, corn is fucking great amiright?!

Shorter Review: If you are expecting a sequel to Taken, don't bother. Still, corn is fucking great amiright?!

*Those quotes might not be entirely accurate. Just preparing because there's always one...