Blogalongabond: Goldfinger (1964)

Spoiler Alert: I think a few girls may be involved.

Huzzah! After sitting through the first two meh-worthy installments of the Bond franchise, we've finally arrived to a full blown 5 star Bond adventure. Let's see if it's as good as it was during my Dib Dab Sherbet addled childhood.

The Intro

You only have to set your mind back to the respective releases of Die Another Day (2002) and Casino Royale (2006) to understand how deeply ingrained the big and brassy theme song teamed with a load of bikini clad girls opening credit sequence is. People (i.e. Me) found Madonna's dancy track and the sans chicks CR titles absolutely unforgivable and I probably have the epic Shirley Bassey sung 'Goldfinger' theme to blame for that. Bassey wrings every syllable dry but not in an annoying Christina Aguilera way but in an amazing, I'm-going-to-attempt-that-at-karaoke way, while British glamour model Margaret Nolan has scenes from the film and From Russia With Love (BONDFACT. Apparently) projected onto her flawless frame.

The Music

Unlike FRWL, which felt like they just hammered the Bond theme in wherever and whenever they bloody well felt like it, Goldfinger has an actual score that accompanies and enhances every scene. There are many tracks that made me want to buy the soundtrack but 'Into Miami' was a particular stand out which evokes Florida's party city while staying true to Barry's jazzy brass 'n' strings style.

The Baddie

The oddest thing about Auric Goldfinger ("Sounds like a French nail polish") is that he interacts with Bond so much. They converse over some horribly outdated ear piece thing, they have a nice game of golf, they have a bloody nice brunch and they have a rather urgent chat while Bond has liquid gold aimed at his knackers. I think this actually makes him more sinister because he knows he's evil and doesn't give a shit who knows what he's up to so there's no need to lurk in the shadows stroking cats and being a general douchebag. Kudos. Although I should point out that when I think of Goldfinger, I think of Hank Scorpio who takes Auric's most memorable line and makes it even better.

[Scorpio has a James Bond-style secret agent strapped to a table with a cutting laser edging up towards him]
Hank Scorpio: Ingenious, isn't it, Mr. Bunt?
Secret Agent: Scorpio, you're totally mad.
Hank Scorpio: Hah. I wouldn't point fingers, you jerk.
Secret Agent: So, do you expect me to talk?
Hank Scorpio: I don't expect anything from you, except to die and be a very cheap funeral.
[walks off]
Hank Scorpio: You're gonna die now!

The Girl(s)

Goldfinger simultaneously gave us one of the most memorable and snigger worthy Bond girl names and one of the most memorable images from the entire franchise, or possibly the history of cinema. Honor Blackman landed the part thanks to her success in The Avengers off t'telly and managed to say that name without laughing. At 38, she is still the oldest Bond girl ever but since she flies planes, wears purple wrap shirts and a gold leather waistcoat, she's about a million times hotter than the likes of Halle Berry. And if that wasn't enough, the woman has her own FLYING CIRCUS!

Stop laughing, this has all become very silly.

The Bond

In Conclusion

Goldfinger was made with a budget bigger than its predecessors combined and still managed to recoup the cash in record time. I wasn't around in 1964 so I have no reason why this was, but I can say that Goldfinger is the first 5 star experience of the franchise and everything that followed has just been playing catch up. The script is witty (Bond even gets topical on our asses with a remark regarding the rubbishness of The Beatles), the gadgets come into their own, the girls remain powerless to his 'charms' but are awesome nonetheless and Bond does his bit for fashion by wearing a pale blue towelling playsuit. Perfection.

Next Month

Thunderball: I have nothing to say since I can't remember whether or not I've seen it but before I go, have a bloody good look at this: