30/04/2011

Blogalongabond: Thunderball (1965)

Well, we all knew this day would come. As wonderful as the highs of the Bond franchise are even the most ardent fan would admit that there are some absolute stinkers in the back catalogue. I have no recollection of watching Thunderball before but I'm so glad I didn't otherwise I would've known what a long, dull and watery fart I was letting myself in for. Since I left it so late and am horribly lazy, I've forgone my usual format and have simply picked out 5 things I noticed about Thunderball. Let's do this:

Tom Jones Sang The Theme. No One Told Me.


I own a CD featuring all the Bond theme songs so I genuinely don't know how I missed this. 

Sean Connery's Eyebrows Are All Sorts Of Jacked Up

Usually eyebrows are the last thing I focus on when a hot slab of man meat such as Sir Sean is bestowed before me but I could not focus on anything other (apart from that rug on his chest) than those epileptic slugs crawling across his forehead. Did I miss something? Did they look like that before? Either a child went at him with some dodgy wax as he slept or his face was singed by a fiery hot flame. And speaking of fiery hot flames...

Luciana Paluzzi Has Got It Going On

An Italian with a heaving bosom and flame red hair has the ability to turn any woman. That's all that needs to be said really.

This Is When The Foolish Gadgets Began

I didn't think anything could top the invisible car or the duck helmet but alas, the jet pack achieved it. The Rocketeer he is not.

Not Even Q Can Get Away With A Pineapple Print Shirt

Forget what I just said, this is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen in a Bond film.

Next Month

You Only Live Twice was written by Roald Dahl. This outta be good.