29/07/2011

I Blame 'Love Actually' For This


I don't usually comment on trailers simply because every blog does and I genuinely have nothing to say about them, but this time, I'm unable to stay silent. New Year's Eve is the sequel no-one wanted to 2010's Valentine's Day, a film that Mark Kermode rightly referred to as "a greeting card full of vomit", and features an even bigger cast chock-full of unbearable douchebags (Ashton Kutcher, Ryan Seacrest, Josh Duhamel), annoying bitches with egos the size of Brazil (Lea Michele, Katherine Heigl, Halle Berry) and some stars who should really have a word with their agent (Michelle Pfeiffer, Robert De Niro).

Words can't describe how unbelievably awful Valentine's Day really is, you just need to experience its unbelievable awfulness but since this world is full of fucking idiots, that didn't matter and it made over $200 million at the box office. This was clearly all Garry Marshall (the man responsible for Pretty Woman, quite possibly one of the most offensive films I've ever seen) needed to green light a sequel and this Christmas, buses across my city will be plastered with these twats.

If you have a moment you should really take a look at the cast list because there is pure comedy to had there after all the weeping. Jon Bon Jovi plays a rock star (tough), Robert De Niro plays a dying man (like his career - HAHAHAHAHA), Lea Michele plays a singer (will this bitch ever stop wailing?), Halle Berry as a nurse (who, of course, looks absolutely flawless) and from the looks of the trailer, SJP plays a struggling designer of some sort which people will enjoy because she likes clothes and that. I see what they did there. I'm going to assume that the pretty people have some problems in the love department which are magically solved 10 seconds before midnight via a rush to an airport/party/home/whatever. Knowing me I'll probably watch it because I hate myself and enjoy nothing more than an insane sweary rant, so at least you've got that to look forward to.

Films like this made me : (