09/08/2011

Cowboys & Alienzzzzzzz

You're welcome

There are some films that have everything going for it: great cast, idea, concept, director and everything that points directly at a sign that reads "THIS FILM IS GOING TO BE AWESOME" but yet, despite that, it still manages to go tits up. Cowboys & Aliens is an adaptation of Scott Mitchell Rosenberg's 2006 graphic novel and stars Daniel Craig (who replaced RDJ who dropped out for Sherlock 2: Men In Drag Boogaloo) and Harrison Ford as the aforementioned cowboys who find themselves fighting off an alien invasion. Is it me or have there been a lot of alien invasion movies recently? I thought Will Smith was legally obligated to star in every alien invasion movie ever made but apparently not.

Back to the film, it begins strongly with a dirty Jake Lonergan (Craig) waking up in a desert with a fancy bracelet attached to his wrist that he can't remove. He's approached by some filthier bastards looking to steal the clothes off his back and put a bullet in his head but before that happens, Lonergan Bournes out on those bitches and we're treated to an awesome, if albeit brief, fight that ends with him picking up a hat reminiscent of that Indiana Jones fella. Speaking of, after some brilliant hi-jinks involving Dano and Craig, we're introduced to Colonel Woodrow (Ford) who saved the dusty town and is now allowed to do whatever he damn well pleases but before he gets the chance to throw his weight around, a mysterious light appears in the sky and this western becomes a sci-fi. 


Sounds awesome, right? Well it was, but unfortunately everything after that point is a bit lame. Craig has nowt to do apart from strut that ass and Ford, who starts off as a rather good anti-hero becomes the hero with no transition whatsoever. The magnificent Sam Rockwell may as well not even be there (SPOILER: He doesn't dance) and don't even get me started on Olivia Wilde and her stupid "character". Having said that, it all looks rather good and puts a nice spin of alien abduction with a great design but the aliens themselves look like a rip from District 9 and worst of all, it's boring. How can a film about cowboys fighting aliens be boring? It's barely two hours but feels about four and all the set up is promptly thrown away and it becomes a whole bunch of nothing. The thinly-written characters seemingly only exist for one reason and the final battle goes on for way too long. 

SIGH, yet another film that starts well before diving off a cliff. Jon Favreau's 9 lives are running out...