Happy Feet Two

Happy Feet may pre-date Glee by about three years, but the success of that show has undoubtedly raised the bar for encouraging all professional singers (and Gwyneth Paltrow) to go all karaoke on our asses. Of course the original was more about dancing, being proud of who you are and all that other bollocks only spouted in films aimed at kiddies but this one practically admits to having no story and resting the weight of its 117 minutes on the shoulders of some shrimp-like crustaceans whose name means something quite different on da streetz

I could go on and on about how Mumble and Gloria (P!nk replacing Brittany Murphy) now have their own fluffy sprog with confidence issues and he travels with friends and discovers stuff and learns to dance and everything's great, but no-one cares about that as the stars of this snow (typo, and it stays) are Will the Krill and Bill the Krill (Brad Pitt and Matt Damon, respectively). At the beginning, we have no idea why Erik's tale is interspersed with a krill out for adventure and his world-weary pal who tags along because he's clearly in love with him, and it's no clearer at the end. I'm not joking; in one scene Bill tries to convince Will to stay with the others and pleads with him while proclaiming that they can start a family together. Subtle it is not.

Even though their (completely gay) sub-plot makes little sense and only exists because there's only so far a story about tap-dancing penguins can go, I didn't complain as the rousing renditions of 'Under Pressure' and lovely animation was enough to keep me and the two million kids in Empire Leicester Square entertained on a Sunday morning. Now, when do we get a Bill and Will spin-off?