American Pie: We're Old Now

Jason Biggs and Shaun William Scott are executive producers of this unwanted re-visit to west Michigan and if that's any indication, it's that they need us a lot more than we need them. Unbelievably the 90s comedy about a horny teenager sticking his cock in an apple pie has spawned numerous sequels and a barrage of direct-to-DVD entries that most people (apart from Eugene Levy, who starred in single one of them) aren't even aware of, but despite the obviously desperate nature of its resurrection there was something massively enjoyable about American Reunion.

The signs were not good: upon entry to the cinema in London's crappy Leicester Square (Srsly, when the fuck will it be finished?) we were greeted by an endless supply of fancy bottled water, beer, tables creaking under the weight of cocktails and piles of Pizza Express boxes that we were encouraged to help ourselves to. But despite endless freebies it's impossible to not enjoy the endearing nostalgia being thrown at our faces in the shape of male members squashed against clear pot lids and underage boobies flapping about on the screen. The girls exist merely as the boys' play things and it's hard to understand why they - who grew up together in school - don't even share a scene with one another but the film really plunges into awfulness everytime it tries to do the hugging and the learning because the acting, script and - bloody hell - the music is so heavy-handed. But everything else is gold; Stifler may be a sad old bastard but he gets such LOL-worthy lines and expresses so much joy while being a dick you can't help but giggle.

Terrifyingly the cast agree to do this every year which may mean that its inevitable success means we'll be stuck with them forever, but please, end on a high. And it goes without saying that Jennifer Coolidge is still pretty hot:


Seriously, when do we get a spin-off starring her character?