In case you haven't noticed, the Olympics are coming

If you're one of the unfortunate people who're being forced to come face-to-face with the above atrocities (known as Wenlock and Mandeville) as well as ginormous oblong clocks counting down to London's missile party on a regular basis, you're already sick of hearing about the Olympics. Unfortunately the powers that be have decided to try and capitalise on the tournament with a bunch of Olympic-themed movies, which is fine when you compare them to the tat Sainsbury's is flogging for top dollar. Anyway, enough of my bellyaching, here's four films coming your way that have been cynically designed to get you geared up for August.
Town of Runners
Release Date: April 20th

Towns of Runners is a documentary that focuses on the beginnings of many aspiring athletes hailing from the highland town of Bekoji in Ethiopa. Established athletes such as Tirunesh Dibaba, Kenenisa Bekele and Derartu Tulu all trained in their local area and this follows some youngsters who dream of emulating them and becoming professionals themselves. The word 'inspirational' has been bandied about quite a bit when describing this small doc because it's much easier to be inspired by poor black kids living on the poverty line in the underdeveloped world than white kids who don't even have to sell their engraved iPad to afford a lifetime of training. That's just science.
Fast Girls
Release Date: June 15th

The only mascot that could possibly be worse than those one-eyed twats is a two-eyed twat whose admittedly hard-earned success has caused an ego eruption that not even one of those bloody missiles could stop. And in completely unrelated news, Fast Girls was co-written, produced and stars Mr Noel Clarke, who wisely thought a tale about four girls learning to work together was more rousing than a bunch of kids speaking in tongues, wearing Air Max 90s and stabbing each other. The whole film is - shockingly - a series of overwhelmingly obvious cliches but it's been put together surprisingly well and Lenora Crichlow (the ghost from Being Human) admirably keeps things together and out of Jeremy Kyle territory. Also: there's a fuck-load of montages and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Release Date: July 13th

The 1968 Olympic Games were overshadowed the moment America's Tommie Smith and John Carlos stepped onto the podium in black socks and no shoes (to represent black poverty), one black scarf (to represent black pride), an unzipped jacket to show solidarity with blue-collar American workers and a bead necklace which "were for those individuals that were lynched, or killed and that no-one said a prayer for, that were hung and tarred." Slightly more powerful than a poxy Laurel Wreath, eh? But of course, the image of two black Americans raising their fists was the most overt political statement ever made at the Olympics and has since become an iconic image. What Salute focuses on is the aftermath and subsequent ostracising of Australia's Peter Norman, who supported their statement despite intense pressure not to do so. An interesting angle, even if the film was completely made by Norman's nephew and may not be particularly neutral.
Chariots of Fire
Re-release Date: July 13th

Academy Award-winning film about some skinny white men in ill-fitting shorts. I haven't seen it.