The bad thing about my decision to watch Tomorrow Never Dies over a month earlier than I needed to is that I can barely remember anything about it. I have a faint recollection of slamming Sheryl Crow's yawn-worthy theme song, laughing at Teri Hatcher's poor imitation of a glamourous trophy wife who can't seem to say anything without it being extra dramatic about it, being bored by Jonathan Pryce's shitballs villain and my eyes almost completely rolling out of my head thanks to Moneypenny's 'cunning linguist' "gag". But lets start with the positives, shall we?
*thinks really hard for about 12 minutes*
*has a snack*
*does some online banking*
Oh yeah, this was a bit good.
Michelle Yeoh's Chinese spy may inevitably - and annoyingly - trip over and fall on Bond's boner by the time the credits roll but cranking up their initial reluctantance to work together by throwing them in some handcuffs for the film's stand-out set piece is a definite highlight. Also, am I the only person who noticed her shout "hiii-YAH!" while shooting a computer? Do you really need to exert that much energy when pulling a trigger? It's like the producers made her do it to remind us she's Chinese. Bravo, guys.
I've never particularly been impressed with Bond villains mainly because whatever their dastardly plan involves they're always after the same thing but Tomorrow Never Dies' Elliot Carver really takes the piss when it comes to shit baddies. Apparently based on Robert Maxwell with more than a dash of Rupert Murdoch, someone as lame as Carver has no business being in a spy blockbuster and his mere existence is only good for bringing on a bout of narcolepsy to the sleep deprived.
A brief glance at the Wikipedia page explains why there are so many problems with the 18th film in the series, but thanks to the action and Brosnan's willingness to deliver his crappy lines with gusto, Tomorrow Never Dies (*thinks of cop-out final line that'll cover the fact that I have no idea what to say about it*) is an easy if uneventful watch.
Yup, that'll do.
Yup, that'll do.
Next Month: The World Is Not Enough