07/02/2013

Some things that'll probably happen in Fast & Furious 6


The arrival of a new Fast & Furious movie is always odd for me because I saw the first film when I was about 13 and I can't quite believe that they're still making them. It's just madness. Although, having said that, 5ast 5ive was so knowingly ludicrous and wonderfully insane the franchise appears to be improving as they embrace the lunacy and happily launch Tyrese Gibson off of a truck and get The Rock to douse himself in Baby Oil while saying shit like "You keep running your pie-hole and you're gonna smell an ass-kicking." YEAH.

Here's some other things to look forward to when F6st & F6r6ous 6 is released in four bloody months:

1) Implied sex.
2) Vin Diesel does his best action hero voice while trying to make everyone forget about The Pacifier.
3) The Rock looking sweaty as hell even though he's in London.
4) The Rock says something awesome.
5) The Rock does something awesome.
6) The Rock omits awesome.
7) Paul Walker being as charismatic as a block of wood.
8) Slow-mo booty shaking reminiscent of a Jay-Z music video circa 1998.
9) Explosions.
10) MORE FUCKING EXPLOSIONS.

If you're not up for this, you're a liar.