About that Weird Science remake...

Last Thursday it was announced that Universal Pictures and Joel Silver would take a dump on John Hughes' grave remake 1985's Weird Science, a film beloved by anyone young enough to not remember the 70s but old enough to know a pencil can save a VHS tape. Details are sketchy because it's still in development but we do know Michael Bacall has signed on to write the "edgier" script. You may know him as the guy who wrote one of the best films of 2012 and one of the worst. Interestingly Silver also produced the original with writer/director John Hughes so it's comforting to think that he may pay homage to the original while simultaneously pilfering childhoods across the globe for the sake of some cash.

Having said that I wasn't exactly surprised by this news. As much as I love it and Oingo Boingo's catchy themesong, it is at the lower end of John Hughes' filmography and has been ripe for reinterpretation for years. Looking at what Bacall did with 21 Jump Street makes me think he'll use the basis of the plot - bullied nerds create a dream woman - and do whatever he fancies with it. There will be no party crashing mutant bikers and I seriously doubt anyone will be turned into a pile of shit, but given that it's 2013 that may not be a bad thing. In an effort to decide whether I should listen to my weeping 8-year-old self or be an adult and see the positive side, here's some pros and cons:

  • No bras on heads.
  • They created Lisa on a computer, which means every other shot will include the logo of whatever company forks out the most cash.
  • John Hughes isn't alive to see this.
  • Robert Downey Jr. could have a cameo, and he makes everything better.
  • It isn't The Breakfast Club or Ferris Bueller's Day Off...yet. 
Now onto more important things: who will play Lisa? Kelly LeBrock was a very successful supermodel with a stupid amount of Vogue covers under her belt before crossing over to movies as Charlotte in The Woman in Red opposite Gene Wilder. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Miranda Kerr and the similarly-named Kelly Brook are already being thrown in the hat by bloggers with nothing better to do, but the problem with those lot is they're all boring as fuck.
Kelly LeBrock had personality, charm and timing as well as a gorgeous face and insane body, and while Rosie possesses the looks for the part anyone who saw her in Transformers 3 knows she has less on-screen presence than Wyatt's frozen grandparents. Sigh, no one will do. My weeping 8-year-old self has won this battle.