World War Z
The opening of World War Z is every cliched blockbuster movie poster quote in 20 minutes: EXHILARATING! THRILLING! HANDWRINGING EXCITEMENT! I jumped, I gasped and I looked agog as masses of chompy, bitey zombies launched themselves at breakneck speed to feast on any poor bugger they could. It's clearly been influenced by 28 Days Later and even with the boring kids in tow slowing them down, everything on screen is properly cool.
Then they land a spot of a ship that's housing all the important people left and acting as a makeshift White House (the Prez be dead), and it's there where we find out that Gerry Lane (Brad Pitt) is a retired United Nations employee who for some reason is the only person who can stop the zombie pandemic. After the genuinely exciting opening moments it all gets very slow with moments of slapstick humour that has no business being there. A vital character accidentally shoots himself in the head when he slips on a wet surface and during a tricky escape Lane attracts the chompers when his phone goes off. LOL.
Pitt acts as star and producer but apparently he was so busy with the famously troubled production he forgot how to act. The undead zombies have more facial expressions than he does. And without giving any details away, when Lane finds out what he has to do to possibly save humanity, Pitt didn't even fucking bother to muster an even slightly realistic reaction. The reaction should have been horror and fear with a bit of "Oh bloody hell" annoyance, but Pitt looks like a man who's just gone to a Sainsbury's Local in the rain only to find out they're out of milk. BAD BRAD. Bad.